My best days are behind me. Have I really thought this? In my mid 30’s I remember looking at myself and thinking similar thoughts. Is this true? HELL NO!
Let me preface this by saying…hormonally we all will experience change as we get older. As your body ages, it is important to be aware of the changes but seek to avoid the emotional turmoil they often bring. The degree to how they affect you is dependent on your attitude in dealing with them. Ultimately- living a clean life of healthy eating, vigorous exercise and ample sex will be a natural remedy. Reading our site will also ofter you strategies to beat back the hands of father time.
Let’s get real and talk about sex. Hard core-unadulterated-passionate kinky sex.
How can sex be ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING in your 40’s and beyond?
FFOver40 is here to discuss exactly how it can be.
First of all, in your 40’s (and beyond), typically we are more self confident then we were in our 20’s or even 30’s. With self confidence, comes the ability to know thyself. Think about it…the more you can accept yourself, the better your sexual experience can be. Accepting yourself, allows you to focus your attention more on your partner and what they like (instead of wondering what you look like to your mate). Yes, you can and should have sex with the lights on! Sex can be amazing when both people are focused on each other.
Remember what sex was like in your 20’s? For me, I was insecure and had no experience with masturbation or what I liked sexually. Now that I am self aware, I have no insecurities holding me back from expressing maximum sexuality, lust and intimacy. Neither should you. My friends…this is when sex can really be fun!
The older we get, the more open to “experimenting” we become. Let’s face it…sex is more than just pumping. There is so much more involved. Are you in the mood to f*ck or to make love? There may be times where a quick f*ck is all you want and you are good with it. However, there are occasions when making love will be what you truly yearn for. Foreplay is important to creating intimacy. I remember in my 20’s where it was all about the speed not the process. Now…it is much more about the process…the sensations…the feelings. Of course, this is going to vary depending on if you are a male or female (are men really “more visual” and women “more emotional”-perhaps we’re foreshadowing a future blog?). Allow yourself to tap into your passion and then indulge in the sensations.
In your 40’s and beyond, it is much easier to be honest with your mate. You have likely been with multiple partners or if you have been with one partner for many years, your communication level has dramatically improved especially in one on one intimate situations (if not, what are you doing?). It is much easier to tell your partner, “touch or lick me here or let’s try this” (be creative….)! If you aren’t authentic with your mate, how can you please them or even yourself? The great part about sex in the later part of life is the exploration of intimacy.
It is SO MUCH more fun to “play”. Dress up for you mate. Wear a wig.
On a trip Jay and I took to Vegas, I remember shopping for a dress. We went into the Herve Leger store at The Shops at Planet Hollywood. I was posturing back and forth about buying a very “expensive” dress even though Jay insisted how great I looked in it. It was at that very moment, the saleswoman helping me offered some invaluable wisdom. In a very strong Hungarian accent she said the following,
“He (pointing to Jay) likes the dress…MAKE HAPPY HIM!”
It is great to discuss with your partner sexual fantasies. Or perhaps…the discussion will lead to sexual experimentation. BE CAREFUL…Some people go to the extreme and decide to bring others into the mix. (Be aware if you are in a serious relationship. This can cause a huge wedge between both partners as someone is likely to get hurt) If you are in a relationship for play, and all parties are consenting…no harm, no foul. Ultimately it depends on the substance and long term goals of your relationship.
This question is for the ladies…How many of you have faked an orgasm? I am sure MANY! I find it humorous how many women in their 20’s and 30’s are unsure how to orgasm (so many will simply fake it). How the hell can you FAKE AN ORGASM? Really? Sex is meant to be enjoyed and if you can’t reach orgasm-look inward. Orgasm can be very intense when you allow yourself to tap into your sexuality. I will be honest.. as I have aged…orgasms have become more intense. This could be for many reasons. I believe part of it is associated with allowing myself to be in the moment…feeling the energy. It is simply awe inspiring when your focus is on the passion and the physical connection you share with your lover. As you gaze into their eyes, try to engage in their vibrational energy. This energy when it shoots through your body can leave you breathless at times. Ladies, I would suggest you read and learn more about kundalini energy if you want to significantly improve your sexual awareness and prowess.
As we mature, we tend to become more self aware, realizing what we are experiencing. After orgasm can be special for the more mature participant. Some men, when they are younger, can be about “wham bam thank you mam”, missing out on the emotional connection usually felt afterwards. It seems as men mature, their tendency to be more compassionate increases. When participants are more compassionate, the bond after orgasm can be special. Loving one another and holding each other can be an even stronger expression of the love you share. We seem to realize as we get older…moments are fleeting and how crucial it is to truly appreciate them.
Above all, remember to respect and cherish your mate. Know who you are with. What are their needs? Communicate with one another. Appreciate one another. Please remember to never use sex as a way to “punish” your mate. Sex is not the ONLY part of a relationship BUT it plays a very important role in a productive romance (after all, if you want a roommate, place an ad on Craigslist).
If you are unwilling to please your mate and emotional intimacy is lost, there is a high chance they will go else where (they may not leave you but they will look for play outside the relationship). If you aren’t willing to please your mate, there is someone out there who will be more than willing to oblige. And if either of these situations are where you find yourself -do the right thing and LEAVE. Find someone else. Life is too short and sex is TOO GOOD to be missed!
SEX IT UP and BE THE BEST YOU AT ANY AGE!