Do You Own Your Story?

Who are you?  Are you self aware enough to accept and own your story?

We all have a story.  We live our lives by the “story” we’ve told ourselves.

For example: When I was five my dad left and subsequently I have daddy issues and struggle to trust men.  When I was 9 my mom would lie to me resulting in my distrust for women.

What is your story?

story

I will give you a brief insight into mine.  My mom was Mexican (straight from a ranch in Mexico when she came here to the states at 16).  My dad is as white as it gets (probably European ancestry).  They were from totally different worlds. They were married in their 20’s and had 4 children within 3.5 years.  My dad left my mom 3 weeks after my little brother was born (I was the 3rd of 4).  He was an alcoholic.  When he did return from time to time, he was usually drunk and angry.  My mom would nag him to the point he would lash out at her.  Needless to say, I was not raised in a “Leave it to Beaver” family.  Growing up I felt much like an outsider.  I wanted to fit in.  I developed a belief somewhere around 4-5 years of age that I was a piece of trash.  Interestingly enough, I unconsciously made many choices based on this belief.

I married the first “man” who payed attention to me.  I couldn’t believe a man could love me for all the flaws I had.  I was a “people pleaser”.  I wanted people to like me.  I wanted to feel worthy.  Needless to say, the marriage did not work.  It took me 17 years to have the courage to leave a marriage I knew for years was not working.

After much soul searching, I can honestly say I know who I am as a woman today.  I know I am far from perfect and realize I am on this journey, very much still in process.  Knowing my fundamental misperception has helped me to make more conscious choices as the woman I am today.

What about you?  Are you still making decisions based upon occurrences from the past?  What kind of a life do you say want? Do your actions tell a different story?  What story are you telling yourself that is stopping you from achieving your dreams?  Do you believe you deserve success?  Are you your own worst enemy?

WHO CARES ANYMORE ABOUT THE PAST! 

STOP RE-LIVING WHAT HAPPENED AS A CHILD!

CHANGE

You have value.  There is NO other you.  Start today by living in today.  Live in the present moment.

Appreciate the journey, contrast and all.  If you don’t like the results, then change the script.  Life is meant to be lived and experienced.

None of us are getting out of this life alive, so live like you are dying (because you are).

Be The BEST YOU At Any Age!

  • Wesley Shattuck

    Thanks for sharing the story Monica…rather timely blog.

    • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

      Thank you for reading Wesley.

  • XCSkierBen

    Wow. The both of you really put yourselves out there. That is impressive. Thanks for sharing. I have a lot more thoughts. I will post them later.

    I guess I have a lot of stories…whanh whaaa..

    :)

    • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

      Please share! We love to learn through others! :)

  • Bullseye

    Thanks for having the courage to write something like this Monica. I think many of us are guilty of living with these labels given to us by ourselves and others and hanging them around our necks like a noose.

    • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

      It is interesting isn’t it? The way I usually think about it is this way: If we were our own “best friend” how long would we stay friends with ourselves based on the way we treat and/or speak to ourselves. Any labels given to us by others doesn’t necessarily mean anything until and unless we attached meaning/value to it. Life is about perception.
      Being insecure for many years allowed me to take a look at myself and determine if I was living life as I truly desired to live. I am grateful for all of the experiences which have led me to this point in my life for I would not truly appreciate life without them.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

  • Tony M.

    Excellent article Monica! I find myself relating to the two of you more and more in so many ways. It takes courage to put yourself out there like that. As crazy as it sounds I can tell you’re a “people pleaser” at heart. Thats not a bad thing, I generally think most “people pleasers” are genuinely good people. Even though we can be naive and get burned at times.

    I am a fairly reserved person and usually need to at least have known someone for a bit before opening up. But out of nowhere, and by complete accident I connected with Jay. I can’t even explain it and it’s kind of strange that I clicked with him instantly, (especially being some fitness dude over the internet! Lol) I have a lot of aquaintences, a few close friends, but I really find myself relating to your man a lot. I even think I have a little man crush on him! (No homo!, and forgive me any gay readers, my sister is gay and I have gay friends that are great peeps!)

    After listening and conversing with Jay for a couple of months now, I have been more open on a lot of things, with a complete stranger nonetheless. This guy has been very insightful and is always quick to respond, even taking the time on weekends and late nights to get back to me, kind of like taking me under his wing a bit which is odd because I’m usually the one doing that. He will even mention his insecurities and how he thinks he is flawed but don’t buy into too much of that bs he is good at the core, all of us have flaws and make mistakes.

    Whats interesting, and what I really gather from your article..is that when you are REAL with people, and yourself, it’s amazing what it can do for you in so many aspects of life. Everyone has flaws and insecurities but learning to face and deal with those issues instead of letting them hinder you, will only make you stronger. Life is definitely too short, and yet we can remake ourselves each day.

    I’m grateful to have found some like minded, good people. Keep up the great work your following is only bound to get bigger as time goes by. Ohhh and PS you should seriously change your website name to FABOULOUSY FIT… period. You guys look awesome regardless of age. I’m only 36 everything you write about could pertain to someone in their 20’s. You might be limiting your market!

    Have a great night guys!

    • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

      Hey Tony!

      Thanks for commenting on the post.

      You are right, I am a “people pleaser” at heart however now when I “people please” I do it because I choose to, not because I feel obligated. In the past, I did what others wanted regardless of how I felt. Interestingly enough, as I began to make my own choices and living life how I chose, many of my “family” members could not handle it. I could write a whole article on this whole experience and I won’t bore you with the details.

      I am glad you have connected with Jay. He truly is an amazing human being. I can tell you the main reason I was and am attracted to him (aside from his insanely good looks and HOT ass body) is because he is supremely authentic. It is sad how people think they have to pretend to be someone. When I was dating, you can not believe how many men would start the conversation off with, “Hey, I am an attorney”. Honestly, I could care less. Jay is a man of substance.

      I am excited for your journey. We love connecting with like minded individuals!

  • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

    Thank you Pamela.