Do You Love Me?

So you are fit over 40 yet you don’t feel the love with your mate.  You ask, “Do you love me?”.

You do everything you can to please them and they still aren’t satisfied! UGGGGHHH!  Why do THEY have to be so difficult?  Don’t they see how hard YOU try?

Have you ever thought perhaps the “problem” is YOU!

Were you taught, “Treat others how you would like to be treated”?  Could this be your issue?  Maybe you need to learn to love others as they want to feel loved!

five love languages

I read a book years ago, “The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”.

I highly recommend this book for anyone in a relationship.  Essentially, the book describes how we typically express, experience and feel loved.  The author, Gary Chapman, believes there are 5 primary love languages.

  1. Quality Time
  2. Gifts
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Physical Touch
  5. Words of Affirmation

Let me give you an example.

Jay’s love language is physical touch.  He loves to be touched whether through a massage, a hug, and/or sexual intimacy.   He feels neglected when he is not being touched.  Plus, when he wants to show me love, he will grab and hold me.  He truly loves through physical touch.  I on the other hand, feel loved when he is providing acts of service.

When Jay will make meals for us or work 15 hours a day for us, I feel truly loved.  The effort he puts in to accomplishing things for me and our family allows me to see how much he truly cares.  Interestingly enough, I love to do for others !  Jay often says I am the master enabler.  I do this out of love not realizing I am giving love as I feel loved.

If you want to know what your love language is then look at how you give love.  This is usually how you feel loved.

Once you and your mate know each other’s love language then you can truly express your love to one another.

What good is it being fabulously fit without true love in your life?  Love is the truest expression of our natural selves.

couplehugging

If you and your mate are experiencing relationship troubles, maybe you should click on this link and purchase today.

There is no harm in looking inward.  Strive to become more self aware while at the same time strengthening your relationship with your significant other.

Be the Best YOU at any age!

  • http://www.twentiesmentor.com/ Peter Twenties

    Great article guys! I usually show love through touch as well.

    • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

      Thank You!

  • bear

    Nice article. Fitness should encompass much more than the body. If approached from a holistic standpoint it will encompass our relationships as well. This is a great book and one that I will plan on rereading with my wife. We read it a few years back, and found it useful.
    Keep up the great articles. You guys are doing great work.

    • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

      We absolutely agree. Being the best you is all encompassing. What good is it to look good on the outside, if the rest of your life is falling apart?

      So glad you and your wife read the book together and have open dialogue about it. Communication is definitely key in any productive relationship.

      Thank you for the comment!

  • XCSkierBen

    I think men show there love in different ways and it is not always in the most poetic and romantic instances. I show my wife I love her with good quality time and by doing little things for her that she may not do. Things like changing the oil on her car when she needs it, making sure she is not alone out doing errands late at night and taking care of our animal when she can’t get to it. I also generally taking care of things around the house that I can do to help out. I do my own laundry, food prep and dishes. My wife is not my maid or servant. We also give each other a lot of respect and are well aware when we need alone time.

    One of the things I try and do to help her along sometimes is giving her good personal feedback and acknowledging her when she does things that are positive. She can use a lot of negative self-talk and I always try and encourage her to stop. It’s not healthy for anyone, male or female. I tell her that she would not talk to one of her friends that way, so why do you talk to yourself in that manner? Lastly, one thing I never do is talk shit about her when she is not around. One of my hugest pet peeves is listening to men bitch about their wives. Why are you with that person if she is such a pain in the ass? I usually ask, then I just walk away. Worse yet, is when these same men bitch about their CHILDREN. Lot’s of work to be done in our society!

    Great post!

    • http://www.fabfitover40.com/ FabFitOver40-Monica

      Respect is definitely key in any relationship. It sounds like you and your wife have a very productive relationship.

      Unfortunately, many people do not appreciate their mate and do talk smack about them while they are away. It is truly sad that the ones we say we love the most are the ones we can take for granted. Our mate is a reflection of us. This is the person we chose. If we are complaining about them to others, then what does that say about us?

      Your wife is lucky to have a strong man in her life!

      • XCSkierBen

        Thank you. I strive to do my best every day.